Tag: truth

The truth about October 31st…

by lovesdoves, posted in Social health, Spiritual Health

Recently, our office held a planning retreat. The first half of the meeting was establishing our strengths, our passions and our values. We talked about how values can be handed down through generations, and accepted based upon their parents’ or elders’ values, and how sometimes we need to do some soul-searching to establish the values that we hold as truth. So periodically I find it necessary to analyze why I believe what I believe. I want to own the value, not just accept someone else’s, even if it is someone that is dear to me.  I think my thoughts in dark and light. I become confused and muddled when those two opposite spectrums become intermingled into the gray zone… it’s not a place that my brain appreciates. Or excels in. It’s foggy there, and sometimes dense and scary. So, I continue to process a thought until it becomes “right” or “wrong”, “dark” or “light” based on God’s word to me, and occasionally, the research that I do.

Well.  I have been doing some soul-searching… and some processing…

I love my Christian friends. I love the common bond that we have with our Savior, our Lord, Jesus Christ. I love knowing that we can all go to His Word, and compare thoughts and evaluations, and seek His Truth… to find out what He really would do. God has led me to become much more tolerant of other’s thoughts and beliefs and actions…. much less judgmental because I have come to realize that not everyone has been exposed to the same information, the same experiences, and the same awareness. And that includes the celebration of “All Hallows Eve”, which can be a gray zone for many Christians.

The Bible doesn’t say “Thou Shalt NOT Celebrate Halloween”, but what the Bible does say in Deuteronomy 18:10-14 is, “For example, never sacrifice your son or daughter as a burnt offering.  And do not let your people practice fortune-telling, or use sorcery, or interpret omens, or engage in witchcraft, 11 or cast spells, or function as mediums or psychics, or call forth the spirits of the dead.12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord. It is because the other nations have done these detestable things that the Lord your God will drive them out ahead of you. 13 But you must be blameless before the Lord your God. 14 The nations you are about to displace consult sorcerers and fortune-tellers, but the Lord your God forbids you to do such things.”

I don’t expect most of the people that read this do any of those things listed above, but did you realize that this holiday is the Wiccans high holiday? They feel that the veil between the mortal and spiritual realm is at its thinnest on that night, and they rejoice at the deception… as followers of Christ consistently dress-up, and abide by many of the “practices” that are rooted in paganism, such as jack-o-lanterns, and trick-or-treating. Did you know that many Wiccans do actually offer sacrifices on this day… the day that they refer to as Samhain, who was the god of the dead? Did you know that it is still celebrated as an ancient pagan festival of the dead by witches all over the world?

Do you want to even come close to blurring the line of good versus evil? Or do you want God to know that you honor Him and no other, and that you are willing to take a stand against the devil and his team of demons who circle the world looking for those to deceive, destroy and devour?

My heart is firmly set against satan and all he represents, and I refuse to become a casualty of this dark day, and all that it represents. I am thankful for the full protection of my Heavenly Father, his Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, and I do not feel the need to test this protection by celebrating the wicked things of this world. I value God’s truth over other’s thoughts of me, I value his Ways before man’s ways, and I value the love that He freely and generously showers over me, even when I fall short.

I am aware that doing things differently, and going against the ways of the world is uncomfortable, but my objective has never been to be part of this world. My purpose is to share his love, share his hope, and share his ways. It is to stand steadfastly in the Truth,  that I may shine as a beacon of light for Him, so that when it is time, He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Just a look…

by lovesdoves, posted in Social health, Spiritual Health

Terry and I were thoroughly savoring our Sunday together. We were feeling giddy after a visit from our good friends while running errands, purchasing new chaise lounges, getting them assembled, and freshening up the back deck area. After a quick trip to Steinmart, we were aware that our breakfast was spent, and decided to stop and get a bite to eat… late lunch, early dinner, one of our favorite meals. We stopped by a local restaurant at Town and Country, but we found out they are closed on Sundays, so we headed to The Greene to enjoy a well-crafted meal at a cute little bistro called Joya, only to find out that they had permanently closed two days before. Perhaps we should have headed home and heated up some leftovers, but we decided to check one more place… Brio… to see if we could sit on their patio, people watch, and enjoy a bite to eat there. Success!! We had a very short wait as they cleared a patio table for us. We got settled in with a couple of glasses of wine, and some artichoke dip. We were basking in the afternoon sun and light breeze, enjoying the giggles from a table with a little boy, and the parents appreciating his antics, there were other couples, and several other families. It was peaceful and joyful and we were feeling mightily blessed.

We placed our order shortly after, received our salads, and then we waited and waited. We were chatting and the delightfulness of the day created more patience than is normal for us! And quite a bit of time went by. In the meantime, several groups had finished their meals and began leaving, and new people began filling the empty tables. Two women that had been seated inside came outside to occupy the table immediately next to ours.

And so it began.

They started the next 45 minutes bad-talking their alleged friends, analyzing the sexual relationships of their alleged friends, and the sexual activity of their alleged friends, explicitly bashing their ex-husbands, and the male population in general, complaining about their children, and the weight of their large-sized bodies, and their doctors office procedures. Their tone was angry, and unhappy, and I felt deep sadness for them. But I couldn’t stop listening. The more time that went by, the louder they became, and they actually seemed to be turning their chairs so they were even closer to us.

Typically, Brio is more than efficient with their fresh food served in a timely fashion. When a manager came by to check on us, we let her know that we’d been waiting for an unusually long amount of time. She was very upset and very sorry. Thankfully no one blamed the kitchen. They were just completely honest about the fact that the order had never been entered. We seriously weren’t upset about it. We understand things like that can happen, but Brio took care of our meal anyway, and we were appreciative of their customer service excellence. Almost immediately after that, food was delivered to our table.

And, still, the women were yammering on. And on. And on. Anything negative, unhappy, foul, sour, vulgar, rude that you can imagine was discussed. I was truly stunned that two full grown female human beings would sit in public using language reserved for no one. I would chuckle every once in awhile at the absurdity of their conversation, shaking my head in disbelief. I seriously felt like we were being punk-d. “Housewives of any county”. Where are the cameras??? It was that ridiculous!!

And then all of a sudden, the louder of the two, talking about how sweaty she had been last weekend (?)… said…

jesus f-ing christ… {without my written modification}…

my face got red, my heart thumped loudly, and my head felt light as the spirit inside me bristled…

and I simply turned to look at this person… no words… just a look…

the pattern was interrupted and she viciously turned her vile tongue toward me.

There was a series of inconsequential mumbles and comments from the two of them, defensiveness driving them, but their words couldn’t hurt me. And although there was no judgment made on our part, nothing said, they claimed quite loudly that judgment should be left to “the higher power”…

at which time, my husband quietly stated, “You mean, the one you just cursed.”

And they were stumped. Silent.

I can tolerate a lot to avoid confrontation, and I’m aware of a thing called “freedom of speech” which they were clearly exercising their rights to. We could have moved tables, we could have left, but for some reason, 2 closed restaurants and a lost dinner ticket had us right where we were suppose to be.

They can choose to talk about their friends in an ugly, hateful, profane way,

but they can not talk about my friend, my Lord, my Savior that way.

And, without a sound, I was happy to let them know it.

With one question, Terry was too.

…..

Whatever your method is, whatever God leads you to do or say… stand up for what is good, and right, and true.

And Live Well.

Bummers & Blessings

by lovesdoves, posted in Emotional Health, Physical health, Spiritual Health

Home church has been one of the biggest blessings of my lifetime. The connection with the Holy Spirit so pure… and raw… learning with people that yearned to love God deeply and to follow Jesus Christ with a disciple’s heart… sharing our homes and our lives as we grew together in His Name… all strengthened our relationship with Him and with each other.

We patterned our home church after Jesus’ church… prayer, food, Biblical teaching, and fellowship. Part of our fellowship involved an honest and open discussion about the highs and lows of our week. It helped to increase our awareness of each other’s lives and to know how we could best pray for our brothers and sisters. Since our children were an integral part of our church, it increased our awareness of the challenge and the joy in their young lives too. We referred to this sharing portion as “Bummers & Blessings”.

Throughout the years, bummers and blessings included times of distress as the pendulum would swing back and forth through big things like financial hardships & relationship challenges & health issues & unsaved family members, and smaller things like a series of broken down appliances or indecision or impatience. We have seen God work in miraculous ways throughout these bummers… we’ve seen healed relationships, improved health, patience kindled, pride extinguished, and family members that have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. In each, God was glorified.

Time after time, it happened… our bummers became blessings. Time after time, God showed us He is faithful to His Word. He is faithful to His Love for us, and He provides for us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it… right on time… in His Time. And we trust Him, as we witness throughout the Bible and within our own lives how Awesome our God really is. Week after week, we would pray… week after week, we witnessed miracles.

And then at 5:30 p.m. on March 25, 2007, the world as I knew it was transformed when Grace’s jaw shattered as she was thrown from her horse. All the pieces that were so perfectly held together… her perfect little face… the control that I held over my life… was… gone… evaporated… the foundation… crumbling… oh, God, where are you…. where are you now….

I staggered through the next 3 days… bits and pieces still so vivid… pacing as I waited, waited, waited at Children’s for the ambulance to arrive… phone calls to my parents knowing that they would be there with us… and to the Ostendorfs, knowing that they would stand guard, that they would be our prayer warriors… searching Grace’s piercing blue eyes for fear or pain as they rolled her through the hospital doors… steadying myself on the rails of the gurney as the nurse pulled back the covering over her face revealing the extent of the blood, and her exposed chin, the damage… the calmness that was all around her… thankfulness that her friend was unharmed physically… Matt, the youth pastor, arriving and praying with Grace… Terry holding the surgeon’s hands in his as he prayed over this man’s life before he began Grace’s reconstruction process… leaving her with the anesthesiologist as my father and I walked away… so many tears then… so many tears… 1 hour… 2 hours… 3 hours… 4 hours… 5 hours… 6 hours… 7 hours… then at 3:30 a.m. on March 26, a kind and gentle nurse brought us to the empty recovery room, one lone bed in the dimmed lights… to see our baby daughter… stitched back together, pieced back together, wired together… alive… more alive than she had ever been…

The next few days were filled with blessings and the prayers of our brothers and sisters in Christ, but my heart was heavy with the pain that I felt for Grace who couldn’t speak to share her story… to share her thoughts… to process this traumatic experience. When her fear began to consume her she would fold her hands in prayer… and look to us to pray aloud… and peacefulness would instantaneously replace the fear as we prayed over her watching her oxygen levels improve as every word was lifted to our Heavenly Father… her face so swollen barely recognizable… her eyes still my Gracie’s eyes… looking straight up to Heaven…

I remember screaming at God in my head… while laying next to my precious child in her hospital bed… I remember demanding to understand why… why did He let this happen to her… why would He ever give her such a love of horses, a desire to spend her life with them and then allow her very passion to cause her this much pain, this much trauma, and I demanded that He make this up to her… that He make it right… I couldn’t understand and I wanted so so much to understand… my brother called and I remember hysterically asking him the very same questions, why, why, why, why did He let this happen to this sweet and precious child, why did He create them with these desires and then allow them to be injured by the very thing that they love… WHY… my brother arrived within the hour… he knew I was struggling in one of the hugest battles of my lifetime… he knew I was struggling for control over this battle in my mind…he knew that this was not a time to turn and run away, it was a time to run straight into my Creator’s arms… it was a time to trust and be faithful to His Word, and to be strong through His Strength. And he knew he needed to help guide me back, to rest in the peace that the Holy Spirit gives to us, freely as a gift. To be there for Grace.

But I had underestimated the impact that all those weeks, and months and years that we spent together as a family with other families, worshipping and loving our Heavenly Father and learning about His Son, Jesus Christ, and our purpose on this earth, had formed and filled this young child’s mind, her very soul, with everything she needed to adapt to this dramatic event in her life. He had given her every truth that she needed to understand that she was loved, wholly and completely, by Him. And that through this accident, she would claim her voice for Him, and He would use her to spread His Love and His Word to many others. He showed her things that were reserved for the blessed few… angels, hundreds of them, that were guarding the very room that she slept in… fanning their wings, steadily, constantly, to keep the darkness, the fog, that she could see in the distance… away. She knew what it felt like to be held by Him, to receive the comfort and the peace that only He could provide. To be healed in a way that was inconceivable to the human mind, as He healed the nerve that had been severed in her fall, to the disbelief and astonishment of the doctor who said it was impossible. And He allowed her to see the accident as He saw it… something the adversary meant to harm her, God turned into something good, and right, and true. Something that He would use through Grace to glorify His Kingdom.

Over the past 5 years, Grace has grown ever stronger in her faith and God has continued to use her in miraculous ways just like He promised He would, but I’ve struggled with the grief that I felt from Grace’s accident. I struggled with the anger that I felt towards God for allowing it to happen, and my spirit had become lifeless. These emotions, these thoughts were creating physical illness within me. Recently, I have begun a journey to restore my emotional well-being through a form of theophostic ministry to address the underlying causes of my body’s weaknesses. I have learned to see events the way God sees them, through His Eyes, being thankful and grateful for everything that has happened in my life. To know that because God is Who He says He is, has been and always will be, I can trust that His Love for me, His complete unconditional love for me, will always be enough. That faith in Him means that I won’t know the answers to my questions, that my “why?” is answered with His words, “because I know best.” And even when, and especially when, our world suddenly shifts direction, and we feel completely abandoned, desperate and filled with despair, He is there. Waiting for us to run to Him…

As I resolve to trust and not control, have faith without understanding, and love with acceptance as Jesus would, my spirit has grown from its place of stagnation to a place of graciousness. This growth allows God to use me in ways that He has planned for me, to fulfill the purpose for which I was created… to love Him and be loved by Him. Without the removal of anger and bitterness and grief… the adversary would perpetuate separation from my Creator, and I will not have it… he has used every method to stir up my doubt, my anger, and my sin-nature, and has succeeded for a time, but I have taken back what has been given to me and I am rejoicing in the love of my Heavenly Father, Jehovah God, the loving sacrifice of my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I have given the Holy Spirit free reign in my life once again. It feels good to be home.

Bummers to blessings.

Live Well.